Are You a Man That Was Sexually Abused? Feel Like You Have to Deal With It Alone?
Many men feel this way. You are not alone. You may have already sought out solutions to this problem you think is too complex to solve. You may feel like your masculinity and innocence were taken from you leaving an overwhelming amount of guilt and shame that goes hand in hand with tremendous anxiety.
Thoughts of never being able to have a healthy sexual relationship bring about a feeling of emptiness and impending doom that is heavy in its weight. Out of nowhere you can experience a rage that feels all encompassing and uncontrollable.
Do you feel like you should just man-up and forget this incident ever happened? You may compulsively use porn, prostitutes or promiscuous relationships to help gain back the freedom and control taken from you but you know these remedies never fulfill the need to be loved.
If you feel you’re too damaged to be loved the way you want and deserve, then keep reading.
There is Another Way.
By slowing down and releasing the emotional and spiritual blocks that no longer serve you, you can enjoy the freedom to explore your sexuality without shame.
You can increase the feeling of connection with close friends and intimate partners. The knowledge that you are in control of your life and the choices you make becomes apparent and accepted with ease.
You find relief from the flashbacks and nightmares, making sense of traumatic events in the present moment. You will develop your intuition to know how and when to make appropriate boundaries.
Wouldn’t it be great to regain trust and faith in the people around you? You can move forward in your life and reclaim your voice in the world.
In working with me, it doesn’t matter where you live. All sessions are done over the phone from the comfort of your own home and are completely confidential.
A System That Works.
Men often struggle alone if they have a history of sexual abuse. Unfortunately our society tends to brush off the possibility of men (as boys or men) being abused especially if a woman was the perpetrator. Regardless of gender, the impact of being sexually abused and assaulted has a detrimental effect on how you perceive the world.
I work with you to create a system to clear the core blockages that prevent you from feeling the joy that is rightfully yours. You learn simple contemplative techniques to assist you in staying grounded, conscious, at ease in the world and in touch with yourself.
You can consistently return to the principles of this system anytime you are in need. It is unique to your specific situation and learning style yet based in a logically intuitive approach that helps you normalize your experience, no longer seeing yourself as a victim.
You forgive yourself for not knowing how to protect yourself at the time of the abuse. You become comfortable with a range of emotions, transforming what was once difficult into a powerful creative force. You harness a skill set that opens your perceptions of how you put yourself out in the world and how your exchanges with others effect how you give and take core information.
“Does doing this work make me a wuss? Why can’t I just pull it together and get over it?”
It’s completely normal to feel this way. Our society tells men to be strong, keep a stiff upper lip and be supportive of others but not themselves. It’s very difficult to admit you’ve been sexually abused, especially when you feel guilty for somehow being responsible for making it or letting it happen. There’s nothing scarier than asking for help because it means putting yourself on the line with the most tender part of yourself.
These sessions contain no judgment of what you experienced. Instead you will find empathy, understanding, and comfort. Believe me, I know what you went through because it happened to me as well.
“What if digging into this makes me feel worse? The last thing I need is more intensity in my life.”
You are never forced to deal with anything you are not ready for. This is non-confrontational work where a spacious environment is set up to accept you as you are while providing you with tools and resources to heal at the pace that feels comfortable for you.
“I’ve tried to heal this abuse for years and I’m afraid I’m beyond help. How’s this work going to be different?”
As a survivor you know that you can’t merely shake off the trauma and go on with the next phase of your life. You wouldn’t be reading this if it were that easy. Perhaps you feel you try too hard or not enough. Either way you constantly beat yourself up in the process. You’ve tried different therapists and support groups but nothing seems to hit the mark. You may feel you are damaged goods. You’re not. We focus on aligning you with a method that re-connects you with the part that knows you are worthy of happiness and love, the essential qualities that guilt and shame cover up.
If for any reason I believe we are not a good match I will refer you to resources that work for your unique situation.
“Can I get as much benefit with a phone session? Don’t I need to see you in person?”
Phone sessions are just as beneficial, effective and powerful as in-person sessions. Some men prefer phone sessions as they give an extra sense of anonymity with such a sensitive issue. You are always welcome to have an in person session with me in Oakland if you live in the Bay Area.
Why Work With Seth?
As a survivor myself I understand the complexities of recovering from sexual trauma. I also know that it can’t be done alone.
As I worked with a variety of therapists to heal the effects and unhealthy patterns of the abuse I came upon a unique healing system that propelled my healing process tenfold. As I intensely studied this system it became apparent that I was meant to work with and teach other men who are suffering from this trauma. The skills and tools I’ve obtained have become an integrated part of my daily life.
If you have wondered if there is a resource where men can get helpful information and practical tools to healing sexual abuse then you’ve found the right place.
What’s the Next Step?
If you’re not ready to dive into this work yet, that’s okay. You can subscribe to my newsletter to stay updated on recent articles, resources and connections for male survivors. The resource section of this site has many links to helpful people and organizations committed to reversing the effects of sexual abuse and making this crisis known as a social justice issue. The Articles section contains helpful information on the effects of sexual abuse and methods of treatment.
If you would like to speak with me further about the work I do I suggest that we set up a free 20 minute phone consultation. This way you can get a sense if I am a good fit for you, hear how I work and ask any questions to make you feel more comfortable with the process. Go to the Contact page for more info on how to get in touch with me.